Dinger and Willow: The Poor Hungry Dogs

Since I’m busy elsewhere during MoFo month, I asked some special friends to help out over here. Today’s post is another double whammy of super cuteness: two pups, 4 melt-your-heart eyeballs and 8 little legs. I promise you two a whole batch of scones when I finally make my way to Austin!

Guest Post: Dinger and Willow

Friend: The Lazy Smurf

*Note Dinger’s is on the left, his voice is kind of like Hank Hills’ but slower. Willow is on the right and more like the English dubbed little girl in an anime movie.

Hi, I’m Dinger McPuppenstein and I guess some girl with a scone or something wanted me to tell you about vegan food. Probably I would have been a lot happier if she had just, like, given me the scone.

I’m Willow and I would eat a scone!

I guess a lot of people don’t realize that I’m a flex-a-tarian or something. I’m pretty flexible about what eat, like, pretty much if it can fit in my mouth I’m probably going to at least try it. I should probably have a show on the food network, actually.

I think Dinger is so cool!

It’s, like, pretty hard to pick any favorites. I just learned about ice cream the other day, I see my human friends eating it all the time. I guess they realized how unfair it is that I mostly get dog food so they gave me, like, one bite. I grunted for about 20 minutes after that and she, like, only gave me a couple more bites. Sometimes you just have to stare at them until they realize how hungry you are. The weird thing is that they say they love animals and are against cruelty or whatever but then they spend all day cooking and, like, hardly give me anything. It has gotten to the point where they started to measure out all the food I get in a little measuring cup. It’s like they want me to beg. And then if I take stuff off their plate when they aren’t looking or get into the trash they act like it’s this huge deal. I’ve even fallen asleep while waiting for something from the table.

Once I stole someone’s sandwich out of their hand!

Sometimes if we go out I get to try things that I hadn’t before. Like, once, at the dog park there was some stupid baby running around with this thing called a lollypop. He was pretty short and I figured he knew about sharing so I took it. It was pretty good but then the humans grabbed it out of my mouth, can you believe that? They didn’t even eat it after that.

I barked the whole time!

And then another time we were at a kite festival and this baby was sitting in a stroller with a pile of snacks. He wasn’t even eating it so I just took the whole thing. Then they were like “we are never taking you to a kite festival again.

I like kites!

Sometimes when they feed me they just walk away and I have to just sit there and stare at them until they remember to add Chia Seeds and Nooch to my bowl. It’s like, “hello? where I am I supposed to get my Omega 3s and B vitamins?” They can just be so stupid.

I lick all the nooch off before I eat my food!

But they’re good people I guess. Usually we all sleep in a pile and that’s pretty cool. Unless someone takes my spot.

I love Dinger!!!

Besides hanging out with these two cuties, The Lazy Smurf also spends her time helping other animals – check out one of her latest projects, the collective Sunny Days in Texas cookzine. All sales of this zine go directly to Sunny Day Farms Animal Sanctuary in La Coste, Texas, which experienced an awful, lengthy draught this past summer. 

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8 thoughts on “Dinger and Willow: The Poor Hungry Dogs

    • I laughed the whole time I was reading this, Chester could’ve written the same thing (and our dog-in-law Lily could’ve done Willow’s part). Beagles of a feather, except Chester would’ve eaten the babies instead of their candy.

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