Special Guest: Meet Spike

Since I was busy elsewhere during MoFo month, I asked some special friends to help out over here. We’re a little behind schedule now, but I’d like to make an important exception for Senior Fluffypants, I mean, SPIKE, who has a whole lot to say about nooch, organic ‘nip and living with a diva roommate…

Guest Post: Spike

Friend: Luciana, It’s Raining Kale

Hey there,

I’m Spike.
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I live in Maryland with my sister Sugarpaws (aka Twinkletoes, Sweetie Pie, aka WHATEVER), a couple of humans, and one diva of a dog.
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I'm pretty sure she picked this out herself.

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The humans and dog spend a lot of time outside. We went out there once, it’s nothing special. I don’t know why they’d want to go out there when there are perfectly good places to scratch, roll around, and sleep in the house. Plus, the catnip is organic, and it is awe-some.
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awwwsooome

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My mom keeps buying these weird toys, but I’d much rather play with pieces of wicker I break off from the laundry basket, random leaves that make their way into the house, or my absolute favorite–broccoli soccer.  I can tell mom likes it too, because she gets all excited and starts clapping when she finds us playing it in the kitchen. Mostly I just like hanging out.
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My favorite food is nutritional yeast. It’s extra tasty on toast and Popcorn, but our mom saves the last corner of her toast so we can grab it from her plate. The toast part is kind of meh. We usually leave that on the carpet or just chase it around.Tortilla chips are also pretty good–nice and salty, but kale and houseplants are delicious. I’d give them five paws each, but I only have four.
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I love it when bags of people food come in the house because it means we get to nibble on fresh green leaves! Sometimes I also like a few bites of the dog’s food. It’s okay, but I’m not that into all the vegetables. It is in nice little pieces, though.

My sister is pretty cool, but she is really, really interested in the humans. She loves rolling around on them, getting them to pet her and stroke her with that insane looking thing they call a brush. Get this–sometimes she even spends hours sleeping on them! Whatever shakes her catnip–I guess.

Who does this?!

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Don’t get me wrong, I like hanging in the room with my mom, but I prefer lounging under the coffee table and catching an occasional toe to nibble on. When I get too close, mom tries to brush me, hug me, or starts speaking in this ridiculous voice and calling me “Senior Fluffypants.” Do I look like a Fluffypants? I like hanging with her, but something about that lady is just not right. I do let her scratch me behind the ears now and then, but only when I feel like it.
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Sophisticated, so very sophisticated.

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Now, let me tell you about this dog. She barks a lot and is always trying to sniff our tails. What a weirdo! Sometimes she’ll chase us, then scream, turn around, and run the other way. I’ve never even shown her my claws, so I do not know what her damage is. You didn’t hear this from me, but I’ve even seen her taking joyrides when the humans leave the house.
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I keep thinking they’ve gotten rid of her, but the one with the deep voice keeps bringing her back. I tell you what, I am tired of sharing my house with this whiny little b…uh-oh, I gotta run, my mom is back and I’m not supposed to be using the internet without permission. If she asks, I was sleeping the whole time.
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